On September 21st, Jake turned 1.
It's so hard to believe that a year has passed since that day when Nathan and I held our breath to hear that sweet sound of his first cry as he was born. It had felt like the longest 9 months till he got here safe and sound thanks to his doctors and the lovely staff at Royal Hospital for Women at Randwick.
In the past 12 months I have felt such a wide range of emotions, more than I thought possible, and some, all at the same time. Above all else, what I feel most is more. More love than I ever thought possible (when you become a parent, I think that almost goes without saying); more alive - a kind of zinging in my veins at the smallest of feats achieved by someone who I had a hand in creating; more on the verge of tears at any given moment than any old PMS can enduce; and life just is fuller and richer for having him in my life.
Looking back on this past year, I'm thankful for so many things. I'm thankful firstly for meeting Nathan, for knowing he was the right man for me, for always. For knowing he was to be the father of my children and for giving me my children (Billie and Jake). For the ups and the downs that these children have brought our lives, for without the lows, there wouldn't be a way up. For the love and support of our families throughout everything....when we didn't appreciate it and when we realised later how we should. For my dearest, darling, gorgeous girlfriends. The ones who cry with me when I'm down, laugh with me when I'm up and at me when I'm trip over my own feet (hell, they know I'd laugh at them!). You've been in my life for so long; some of you have come and gone and come back again for more, and others have been there since the year dot; I love you guys and want to thank you for your friendship and love.
For my beautiful boy. I don't think they've invented words that have the capacity to express the love I feel for you. If you combined the love I have for the people I mentioned above, that is, you father, your grandparents, your uncle, your Godparents, and all your "uncles" and "aunties" it might come close. In the words of Anita Baker, "you bring me joy". Your smile would make me warm on a chilly winter night. Your besos (kisses) leave me covered in drool, but happy. When you cry out in the middle of the night and I stumble out of bed and stub my toe on the way to put your dummy back in, I'm tired, grumpy and have a sore toe, but I always fall back to sleep, the sore toe gets better, and mostly, I'm greatful that you're here. Seeing you go from such a tiny little thing (all 3.045kg of you) to such a big, strong, strapping lad makes me so proud to be your mum. I try to not think to much of what the years to come might bring, but that's not because I'm afraid of what might be. It's because I'm trying really hard to just savour every day we get to share with you. Life is in the little things Jake. And those are the moments that I love the best.
Happy Birthday Beautiful Boy.
Love, Mumma.
